Most, if not all of us, are aware that high divorce rates have been a fact in our society for decades. Our parents may have divorced or maybe we’ve been divorced. Some of us have watched helplessly as our children and their children go through the traumas of divorce.

It is true that the percent of divorcing couples has dipped slightly in recent years but marriage problems that end in divorce remain significant life changing events for all too many adults and their children. Certainly any of us who have had close friends and family members divorce know how traumatic it is as we hear about the details and watch as the results impact so many.

This is not to say that many times divorce is the better solution for dysfunctional couples but when these couples have children it’s not just the couple that suffers before, during, and after the divorce. Their children pay a life-long price.

Elizabeth Marquardt writes about her emotionally charged study that turned into a powerful book in Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce. In 2005 when the book was published, Elizabeth stated, “…an astonishing one-quarter of adults between eighteen and thirty-five have grown up in divorced families”, astonishing indeed!

Here at novo: Renewing Joy in Life our knowledgeable and experienced professionals understand the issues faced by both wife and husband during and after divorce. We also know the struggles faced by children of divorce and the difficulties of co-parenting when parents are no longer living together.

Attorneys are available to help divorcing families weather the legal storms. novo is here to help with many of the other needs during divorce and beyond. We offer psychotherapy/counseling for adults, adolescents, and children. We offer workshops for all divorcing/divorced family members. Included in the workshop titles are: Co-Parenting after Divorce; Changes Groups for Children (age appropriate support and growth experiences for children); Growing after Divorce for Her/for Him; Money Issues of Divorce; Men in Divorce.

novo is here to help you renew joy in life!

Maybe you’ve been considering trying to find success through life or business coaching. We at NOVO: Renewing Joy in Life want you to get it all and not just parts.

At NOVO we have dynamic, knowledgeable professionals with years of experience in human behavior, motivation, and success strategies that can help you find lasting positive change in your professional and personal life.

We provide individual consultation and group education/motivation experiences that work together to build on your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses!

Generally, career and life coaches begin with your identified goals and provide some tools to help you accomplish those goals. novo works with you to identify: 1) who you are; 2) what you want; 3) what motivates you; 4) what success means to you; and 5) how to achieve the success you want.

We want you to think novo for success in your life and your business!

If you might want to join a therapy group, you need to know there are expectations of you and all other group members.

You need to make the commitment to attend all group sessions, be on time for every session, and stay until the end of each session. Sessions are usually once weekly for ninety minutes. There is no set number of sessions. The group remains intact until members have met their goals and are ready to leave. The only way a new person is accepted is if a member leaves and the whole group votes to admit the new member. Since the group process is really complex, most members stay for long periods of time.

Therapy groups are closed groups. This means that the members present when the group begins to meet are the members in the group. As stated earlier, new members are only considered if a member leaves and all must vote to admit a specific person.

There are several group rules that make things proceed appropriately in therapy groups. Some rules are made by the group itself. Some rules apply to all therapy groups and a few of these have already been mentioned. Another of the important rules involves confidentiality. Since the groups discuss very personal stuff, all members must agree that what goes on in group stays in group. You get the most good out of the group experience if you feel safe enough to talk openly and honestly knowing nobody will tell anything to anyone outside the group.

Group therapy is an effective and powerful form of psychotherapy. It just might be right for you. There are therapy groups where all members are dealing with the same issue, Eating disorders, the loss of a significant other through death or through divorce, or empty nest issues are some specific topics that might be the focus of a therapy group. There are also groups that don’t focus on a specific issue. Each member brings her/his own needs and issues to the group. The group process is the same whether specific issue focused or not.

Though not one of the more popular forms of psychotherapy/counseling group therapy really works! This is really not all that surprising. We are raised in a family group. We attend school in groups. We have groups of friends. All through life we interact with other people in small or large groups, both formal (organized sports or clubs for example) and informal (social groups or audiences that are simply together because of a shared interest could be examples).

Group therapy is a special kind of group lead by a professional psychotherapist (at NOVO the psychotherapists are also a special kind of therapist called Licensed Clinical Social Workers). The therapist helps the group examine issues they want to look at and work through. The therapist leads the discussion but the group members decide topics and direction for discussion.

The focus of group therapy is interpersonal relationships. The group therapy process can assist each group member in coping with individual problems and enable each to change, grow, and to live life more successfully.

A really good reason to join a therapy group is to not feel so alone, like you’re the ONLY person who has ever dealt with problems like yours. Most people join groups do feel isolated and overwhelmed by their life experiences. In a therapy group each member learns that others are feeling very much the same.

By being a part of a therapy group gives you the opportunity to meet others and interact with them in a spontaneous and honest manner. It’s really true that the more you involve yourself in the group the more you get out of it!

Thinking about becoming a part of a therapy group can be scary. You may worry that you’ll be embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about personal stuff with ‘strangers’. The good news is the other group members are only strangers for a short time. You, like most people, will probably find the group process helps you feel comfortable and that trust develops quickly. You really do benefit from the interaction with other members and the therapist/leader.

In a previous entry I discussed psychotherapy from a medical model perspective comparing mental issues with medical issues. I wonder if a non-medical model might really be more appropriate. What might this perspective look like?
Well, it would include things like what happened to us as children, how we understood and internalized what happened to us, and how all this stuff helped us become who we are today. It doesn’t end there though. All this internalized stuff of childhood and the past gives us our script for responding to what happens to us today. We respond to our world from this old known script until we realize it, or parts of it anyway, aren’t working very well for us. We then, hopefully, look for a psychotherapist to help us edit our script and help us not only cope better with life now and in the future but renew joy in living as well.

My name is Vicki Alden and I am the founder of NOVO: Renewing Joy in Life. I will be partaking in the blogging on the website now as well as the others who work here. The following is something I came up with:

During my years of practice I have heard comments like the following many times, “I can’t believe I’m here!” “I never thought I would need this sort of thing!” “I feel embarrassed to be doing this!” When someone says something like one of these comments we always spend time working through the person’s feelings and perceptions about psychotherapy.
I usually include questions and comments about medical issues and the need to seek professional services. If you had a broken leg would you get medical attention? If you had symptoms of diabetes would you go for diagnosis and then take medication if you needed it? Most of the time my client answers, “Of course I would!” So, I ask, what makes you think there can never be a need to get professional help for issues above the neck other than the services of a dentist, eye doctor, or hearing specialist? Most of the time this helps the client relax and feel less stressed about being in my office. We can then move on to what caused the person to make an appointment with me.
Additionally, most of us schedule appointments for annual medical health exams. I’ve wondered if we should start a new trend of scheduling annual mental health exams as well.

Hey, It’s Eric.

Today let’s begin with a simple explanation of how Counseling, Psychiatry, Clinical Psychology, and Social Work overlap venn diagram style. All of these types of mental health professionals are capable of providing direct psychotherapy and they all can share the same theory to base their practice on (MI, Cog/Beh, Psychoanalysis, etc.) to serve individuals, couples, and groups. The differences lie in the training provided for each before they are licensed.

A Psychiatrist has a Medical Degree (MD). They specialize in mental health and thus are able to prescribe psychotropic drugs like Ritalin, Lithium, and Clozapine (common drugs to treat ADHD, BiPolar Disorder, and Psychosis respectively). Often these doctors do not see patients for full talk therapy sessions; their day is scheduled like that of your family doctor with 15-20 minutes spent with each patient. There are of course some who see clients for full sessions but it is fairly uncommon.

Clinical psychologists can practice with numerous degrees such as an MA, a Psychology Doctorate (Psy-D), or a Doctorate of Philosophy in Psychology (PhD). The clinical portion of these degrees prepares these psychologists for administering tests of all kinds that result in quality data that can be used for research and diagnosis. Personally giving tests and doing research bores be to tears but these people have a passion for it. Counselors perform research as well of course. It is just that, as I’m sure you remember from last week, Counselor education focuses most on direct talk therapy.

See you next time!

So who comes for counseling and why? The first part of this question is simple enough to answer: everyone. You have experienced and educated licensed counselors in this field available to provide help with such struggles as substance abuse, career/lifestyle choice, family, marriage, disability, depression, anxiety, renewing joy in life (that’s us!), and many more. The group of counselors in the Chicago area have experience with a myriad of issues that impact every age and culture. 

As I mention culture I would like to point out that the single most important theme for counselor education for the last twenty years has been multiculturalism. Every class I have attended for my Masters has a multicultural component (as they should). The use of the word ‘culture’ doesn’t just begin and end with race, gender, and ethnicity. Responsible multicultural awareness is a sensitivity to all the places we grew up, the language and dialect we speak, the friends we have and what we do with them, how we dress, what music we listen to; the list goes on and on. When counselors do their best to attend to your cultures (because all of us are part of many) in an appropriate and professional way you will notice. It’s the difference between an expert and an amateur.

Ok, back to why people come in for counseling.

Many times people come in to see us during a crisis. Counselors are certainly prepared for you in this time of need. What slips through the cracks of awareness regarding counseling though is that we are a great resource for helping you think and plan ahead to prevent crises from happening in the first place. 

Stressed out about a job opportunity or aren’t sure whether he’s really into you? Come to NOVO for a handful of sessions! We excel at laying all your cards on the table for you to see so that you make the decision that will lead to a satisfying life. It’s worth your time and peace of mind to know that you went into a job, relationship, school, or any other role you choose prepared and confident. Give NOVO a call just to find out the many ways we can help your unique situation.

Talk to ya soon, 

Eric

Hello, this is Eric again.

Today I will delve into what counseling means to me. As you can tell from this statement there are indeed many forms of counseling. These differences result from various ideologies, the personality of the counselor, and of course the theoretical backbone the counselor chooses to administer.

A quick note on this; make sure to ask your counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, what have you, what their theoretical orientation is. In other words, what are they basing their therapy on? A good therapist doesn’t just jump into a session and ‘wing it’. It is irresponsible and careless. It would be like having your dentist skip medical school and decide to drill around in your mouth wherever she pleases. Sound like fun? Your mind is much more important than teeth and your soul deserves trained attention from a professional. So make sure to check up on your therapist in many ways; again, you wouldn’t see someone simply claiming to be a doctor, so why try on the emperor’s new clothes of psychotherapists?

Presently I rely on Motivational Interviewing (MI) as my theory of choice. There are several hundred studies in support of MI and it is a positive solution-focused strength-based set of skills that really fit with my personality. In MI the client is considered the expert of themselves. I find this satisfying because all too often the therapist will let their gigantic ego into the room and let it start barking orders at the client. Not only is this grossly insulting to the client’s intelligence and doesn’t respect their wishes but it has serious potential to do harm to the client. How would you feel if you came in for help with someone you trusted only to have them turn out to be yet another person in your life telling you what to do? That sounds like a disaster to me which is why (among many other reasons) MI is such a nice fit. The counselor and client work together to resolve conflicts in the clients life in ways aligned with what the client wants. I love it. Anyhow, for more information on Motivational Interviewing check out http://www.motivationalinterview.org/.

There are other tools in my toolbox so to speak, such as classic Cognitive Behavior therapy, and each of these tools is tailored to the individual client. I enjoy the fact that counseling is not a one size fits all; and the reasoning behind this is simple: everyone who comes in is completely unique with particular strengths and challenges. It would be unfair to use cookie cutter therapy, and besides, why go through seven years of college to not think? 

The relationship I strive to develop with my clients is one of empathic understanding, patience, respect, and pathological optimism. This last term is a favorite of mine taken from Dr. Jacque Elder; a leading woman in the MI movement and was one of my instructors at Argosy Schaumburg. What pathological optimism means (in a slightly sarcastic fashion) is the stubborn unflagging belief that my client will overcome and will achieve what they want in life. Now, if a client comes in with the hopes of being a billionaire bacon tycoon/rock star then perhaps it’s time for a little reality check. Again, what I try to convey is that I’m with you and I’m in your corner.

Before this entry turns into a novel I’m going to end it here. Tomorrow I will be talking/blogging/ranting/soap-boxing/filibustering/postulating or just plain ol’ blogging about who comes in for counseling and why. See you then!